Annette Journal

Kau mendapat surat dari seorang perempuan yang hatinya sudah hancur berkali-kali. Entah apa yang para lelaki sebelumnya perbuat hingga hatinya hancur berkeping-keping. Tapi, kau tak perlu tahu siapa saja mereka. Sudah lewat masanya, tak perlu diingat. Perempuan ini mudah jatuh cinta. Namun, entah apa yang terjadi, suatu hari ia bersumpah untuk berhenti sejenak mencintai laki-laki. Katanya, "Sudah cukup. Aku sudah muak!". Ia sibuk memperbaiki hatinya yang sudah hancur menjadi potongan-potongan kecil. Satu  demi satu ia rangkai potongan itu. Lalu, ia menempelkannya dengan lem yang kuat agar tak ada yang terpisah lagi. Kini hatinya tertutup rapat Tak ada satupun celah yang ia sisakan Tak ada yang bisa masuk Aku kira sumpahnya itu hanya main-main saja. Tapi ternyata, ia bersungguh-sungguh. Setiap kali ada laki-laki yang ingin mendekat dan tanpa pikir panjang, ia langsung menjauh seperti ujung utara dan selatan magnet. Jangan tanya rupa perempuan itu...

Kupikir hari itu berjalan dengan baik, seperti yang sudah direncanakan... Aku tak ingat betul jam berapa saat itu Ketika aku mengemasi barang-barangku, tiba-tiba handphone berdering Aku sedang sibuk, pikirku Aku diamkan saja handphone itu Beberapa menit kemudian handphone itu berdering lagi Ayolah, sebentar lagi kereta datang dan aku belum selesai berkemas Untuk yang kesekian kalinya handphone itu kembali berdering Saat aku memutuskan untuk mengangkat handphone itu, semuanya sirna "Bawa aku! Cepat bawa aku ke stasiun sekarang juga!" teriakku Aku tak mengerti Apa yang terjadi? Sepanjang perjalanan menuju stasiun, aku hilang Hatiku tak tenang Mengapa? Aku berlari mengejar kereta di detik-detik terakhir keberangkatan Di dalam gerbong kereta, aku hanya melamun, melihat keluar jendela Siang yang terik tampak kelam saat itu, di mataku Mengapa? Aku tak siap Tapi aku harus melihatnya Tapi, aku tak siap Percuma saja Sem...

If you fall in love with me You don't need to take me away to the city You don't need to take me away to watch the lastest movie in the cinema You don't need to give me luxury things You don't need to do it all Not because I don't want to But because I know, it's useless I can't be fully happy with all of that For years I lost myself Then, over years I have also learned to understand, love, and accept myself; as I am And all that did not end in vain I found what I was looking for; my true self I understand now I am happier if you take me for a walk in the park or in the forest I am happier if you take me to see the sunrise and sunset I am happier with simple, sincere things Because that's what makes me feel really happy So, if you fall in love with me Please don't take me away to the city Written on Monday, August 27th 2018

Gadis ini berkata, "Dia ini anak yang polos Dia ini anak yang bodoh Dia ini anak yang jelek, tak pandai berdandan Dia ini anak yang kurang bergaul Tak pantas dirinya berada di sini" Dan berkali-kali kau menghakiminya tanpa merasa berdosa Berkali-kali tanpa ampun pula kau membuangnya Aku tahu kau kaya Aku tahu kau cantik Aku tahu kau pintar Aku tahu banyak lelaki memujamu Aku tahu kau punya segalanya Tapi, satu hal Mengapa kau tak punya hati? Mengapa kau selalu menyingkirkan yang tak berkenan di matamu? Kau seenaknya menyebar kebohongan tentang dirinya Sampai-sampai jiwanya hampir hilang saat muda Kau tahu, sebenarnya orang-orang di sekitarmu tak benar-benar mencintaimu Kau tahu, sebenarnya mereka hanya mencintai kelebihanmu dan membenci kekuranganmu Tapi, percuma saja aku memberitahumu Kau sudah tuli Hatimu sudah keras, bahkan tak ada lagi Aku tak mampu lagi menangani orang sepertimu Setiap hari orang-orang melihatnya baik-baik saja "Ia sudah ke...

by: @annettepriyanca waktu itu di pantai kuta cuaca hangat dan angin bertiup kencang aku sedang bersama kekasihku ia berkata, "pantai ini indah" aku menyahut, "bukan pantainya, tapi matahari terbenamnya yang indah" ia tampak mengerutkan dahinya sambil melihat ke arah langit sore kala itu aku berada di sebelahnya lalu, ia menggandeng tanganku, sedikit membungkuk ke arahku aku tahu aku terlalu pendek baginya, dan menatap mataku "sebelum kamu memutuskan untuk lebih mencintai satu bagian dari pantai ini, kamu harus lebih dulu mencintai seluruh pantai ini" dan sejak itu, aku berharap suatu hari nanti, untuk kita –  10:33 pm Written on Tuesday, July 24th 2018

bolehkan aku bercerita sebentar tentang malam yang pekat tentang hujan yang lebat tentang hati yang tersekat ah, tapi mulutku tak berbakat di pojok ruangan kamu dilihat oleh seorang gadis perangkai ayat ia selalu melihat dengan matanya yang bulat namun kau enggan melihat maaf, dia memang tak kasat atau kau saja yang berhemat? saat ini pukul 12 lebih 8 menit pikirannya masih berkutat apakah kau tak ingin mengucapkan selamat? wajahnya sudah pucat kertas-kertas berselirat tulisan-tulisan telah tersemat ia merasa tenat Written on Tuesday, March 27th 2018

How broken my heart is Not because I didn't get a morning greeting Not because I didn't get hugs and kisses in the morning Not because I lost my boyfriend Not because I lost my soul mate But because I read the newspaper in the morning Humanitarian crisis It is always stuck in my mind Blood scattered everywhere Cries and deafening shouts They shout for help But why did you ignore it? Those who challenge you Why did you respond? How broken my heart is Seeing the world become increasingly chaotic Build a different strongholds Show each other strength So that the world knows who is the strongest Why? People are getting smarter in making technology But stupid to build peace Stupid in understanding what humanity means Written on Thursday, May 25th 2017

You will find they are always stay awake They spent the night to composing paragraphs and strophes They will use some paper and spend ink pens You will find yourself embodied in words You will find yourself stretched over lines and pages with every touch of their feelings toward you They love every word that describes yourself Beyond whatever they charge and accomplished They will be more vicious than usual They will be passionate to expose their writing about someone they love Written on Sunday, April 16th 2017

Blessed are you who already through the critical times in your life because you are the one who has felt how difficult to struggle Blessed are you who have felt the extremely heartbroken because with that, you can be strong and be careful with something uncertain Blessed are you who have pull out a lot of tears because one day, your tears would become a symbol of true happiness Blessed are you who have risen from adversity because after sunset, the sun will be rise again Written on Friday, January 6th 2017

Suatu hari, kamu akan menemukan seorang wanita yang akan meraihmu penuh Dia akan mengulurkan tangannya untuk menggapaimu Dia mengetahui bahwa ada raksasa di dalam dirimu Dia akan terus memegangmu dan tak akan merasa lelah Suatu hari, kamu akan menemukan seorang wanita yang akan meluruskan jalanmu Dia akan menuntunmu agar kamu tak salah melangkah Dengan sabar dia melunakkan batu keras yang bersarang dikepalamu Suatu hari, kamu akan menemukan seorang wanita yang akan melumpuhkan dirimu Dia akan membuatmu buta Dia yang membuatmu tidak akan berpaling darinya Setiap pagi kau akan melihat senyumnya yang lebih indah dari matahari pagi Written on Thrusday, October 13th 2016

When the morning sun began to appear I fell for you Under the umbrella when rain arrives in daylight I fell for you When the sun shall going down on the west side I fell for you Under the stars on a cloudless night I fell for you I am always thinking about you You are the only one I admire I fell in love with you Written on October (I forgot the day and date)

3 meters to see yourself in the same room Your dress alluring my eyes And I'm interested at 5 minutes later after you turn away Tanned skin looks so glowing With smoke eyeshadow that adorns your eyelids Scarlet lipstick is so evocative Looks very elegant in my eyes Every step you take makes me stop drinking wine I smell red rose that attached to your body You make my mind drift And I won't going back until I get you Mysterious woman who abducted my heart Written on Saturday, November 19th 2016

Malam ini hujan gerimis mengguyur kota Saat terbaik dimana aku berdiam diri dibalik jendela sembari menatap langit tanpa warna Gelap dan gelap yang aku lihat Tak ada satupun bintang yang menemaniku malam ini Angin membelai rambutku dengan halus Udara dingin malam ini begitu menusuk kulitku Bait demi bait doa kuucapkan perlahan-lahan Dengan maksud Tuhan akan mendengar setiap inci doaku Sebelumnya maafkan aku Maafkan aku telah lancang dan tidak tahu aturan dalam menyebut namamu Maafkan jika selama ini aku diam-diam mengharapkanmu Mereka berkata setiap doa yang terucap akan dikabulkan Dan aku percaya itu Entah berapa kali namamu aku ucapkan tanpa sepengetahuanmu Entah berapa lama aku terus berdoa tanpa bosan menyebut namamu Aku letakkan namamu pada menit terakhir setiap doaku, selalu Written on  Wednesday, November 9th 2016

I'll write some paragraphs I have to spare my time to write this Consequences of hearts with thoughts Result of ideas This is not easy You should to see, to feel, and to run into some experiences They are very valuable Heart turmoil guiding you Your brain trying to arrange the words A sheet of white paper and a pen Pour entirely! They are loyal to gather your crazy thoughts Until now, I believe That I have a passion in pouring the words Into a paragraphs that is beautiful Don't be afraid to start Written on Tuesday, October 25th 2016

It's a strange thing Where the honesty useless and lies are completely believable This is very stab Where you have been given a few lies You try to hold back your emotions But you lose control You destroy what is around you Too many doses of lies Make up your mind to be blind to the truth Written on Wednesday, November 2nd 2016

Maybe it was us, or it was them That mess things up Maybe we should fix our lives And stop fixing theirs Maybe it was love for us And a need for them Maybe it’s time to move on Even if destiny holds back Maybe it’s time to run faster Faster than the events that always leads you to them Maybe it’s fine And maybe it’s not Maybe you stopped crying But never the pain Pain.. What is that Happiness? Does it still exist? To the one that made my heart beat To the one I cared for more than anyone else To the one who made me feel special To the friend I will always get attached with To the friend I’ve lost To the one who hates me now To the one who will never be a part of my life again To my first love that was never mine and never had Thank you for the memories I enjoyed and was thankful till it lasted Maybe we will never forget them.. Because they’re our first – m.e

She grabbed her hair With lots of tears on her face What she said began to screwed One by one words began to disappear Silence begins to eat her She is petrified Her eyes stared blankly Mirror, now she looks at you She saw her own body Closer to her face Her eyes turned red and her hair was messy Her hand began to rise and clench Once a gain, she saw her body As if to speak something Looked ferocious  She threw her hand toward to you The pieces of mirror began to fall The hand that looks fine now covered in blood She asked, "Why me?" Physical is very resistant but not for her soul Written on Monday, October 10th 2016

Every night I made a promise that tomorrow, things will change My life will be better I promised myself, I would not be worried The troubles are not so s cary But I still do My promises are just words And each  promise is hollow words I promise to do better I promise to be on time Next time Written on Friday, October 14th 2016

Seperti batu hitam Dia menutup diri dari indahnya dunia luar Dia taburkan hujan yang membasahi pipinya Seperti awan hitam yang mengguyur Dia hidup dengan senyum dibibirnya Namun tidak berlaku bagi hatinya Dia seperti bunga yang penuh duri Melindungi dirinya dari mereka yang ingin mendekat Written on Saturday, September 17th 2016

She writes about sadness To console herself She writes about happiness Because she wants to remember it in the future She writes about bitterness Because she lacks in sweetness She writes about love Because she fell out of love She writes about him Because she admires him She writes because she's unprofessional in speaking She writes To correct mistakes To lessen the pain To share the burden She writes to expose her soul and what she feels Written on Saturday, September 24th 2016